Discovering the True You

Discovering the True You

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Masks, Performance and Authenticity

 The people in our lives can make many demands of us. These demands come from our family, our friends, our parents and co-workers. Personally I carried a mask of performance. I believed that I had to project an image of perfect performance to be a worthy human being. If my performance was less than that The problem that I faced was that along the way I made some BIG mistakes, made some bad choices and although I still stayed connected to my world, the gap between my illusion and my performance began to widen. I was able to maintain my deception and keep moving, but the reality in my spirit, in my emotions and in my day to day life began to take a toll.

I even began to believe my own deception some of the time, but eventually the truth came crashing through and I had to stop and reconstruct the illusion before I could move any further. Once that took place I could move forward again. This continued until I broke. I came to a moment that overwhelmed and overloaded my system. This was sudden and shook me to my core. I questioned everything.

That break was the beginning of life. I realized that I lived in an illusion that came at a great cost. I experienced a real, honest faith for the first time. I found that God did not expect what I had accepted for my whole existence. I realized that grace was real and that He had provided it even before I even knew I needed it. I began to form relationships based on reality rather than illusion and dishonesty. I developed friendships that were honest. I found safe places that allowed me to be myself.

Fast forward a few years and many lessons later, I can say that life is good. It is not perfect, and it never was… I not only love God, but I actually like Him. He is still holy,I still carried on the illusion that I things were still as perfect as always.still transcendent, still reminds me when I try to be something that I am not. He still forces me to face my own deception and reveals reality. But I know that He likes me too! He really loves me and wants to spend time with me. He created me and knows all my secrets but he still values me intrinsically.

This is the greatest reality. I have learned to rest. I realized that I do not have to strive or compulsively attempt to be something that I am not. I have learned to rest just as I am and enjoy Him and even more radical, enjoy me! And that is the greatest miracle.



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An Affirmation

I am an original, treasured, extraordinary, capable, unique, gifted, individual, unrepeatable, and one of a kind. He calls me a masterpiece. That is who I am.